Whats another statue I make going to do for me if it just ends up stored in a box till comic con art show 2012 and after not selling hiding away from anyone seeing it or appreciating it ever again back in the box like a Senor Wenches puppetshow routine. I don't give a damn about collecting boxes full of ceramic statues. I don't have any "collectors" who are on a waitlist with the hopes of one day getting the chance to own my art. I would rather have my art out and about in the world with someone who loves it and appreciates the piece of art. I have 50 or so statues in boxes. Do I love and appreciate them? Sure I do, but I would like them to have an audience or adopted into a happy home. I like building and creating my art the process and the final result more than just storing my pieces and my family considering them just taking up space in our crowded house. The whole idea of you can't make art and let it move and go or take a vacation away from home unless you sold it is stupid. I'm not going to wait 30 to 50 years to become discovered as an overnight success art star with every drawing or statue I ever made in my possession in one grand last rites art show. I am very prolific about making drawings and ceramics especially when I do not have deadlines or homework in other classes to take time and energy away from my making my creations. I'm not counting on making a living as a professional artist in my lifetime. I know my art is only going to be collected and sought after when I am dead and gone. That might help my future nieces and nephews not born yet as I write this, but I will never see a profit or acclaim for my art or my talents. So why not spread my seeds to blossom and grow and get my art out there into someone else's hands and happy home as soon as the ceramics piece is finished. I know my art will have a second life ending up in a thrift store as a donation after the original owner got bored or thought it was useless to still keep or it will be in antique store and find a good second life home that way. Art gallery people are not easily impressed or that friendly to me, they put up a wall and a barrier to me when they find out I am an artist who wants to exhibit my artwork. I don't want my family,peers, or friends only asking if my art has sold or sells, like as if my art is not real art or of any talent or merit if it doesn't sell for a profit.
The way I am bypassing this pressure and low self esteem hanging over my head is just make my art and get rid of it as soon as it's finished unless I plan on showing it at comic con for fun not for a profit. My stuff has not sold and will not sell anytime soon. So f*ck it. I'm still going to make my art and the art that I want to create. I don't want to ship it and have UPS smash my pieces to smitherines again! I only want it shipped by professional art movers if it's leaving the immediate southern Californian area! You can't afford art handlers unless you are rich and famous. So it will stay in the immediate So Cal area unless a collector wants it moved carefully to another location. I want it handled carefully only by art handlers so the UPS dickheads don't intentionally smash and break my art again!
I am challenging myself to make art that looks better by others suggestions for what I need to do in their opinion to make my art better to look at and like or others to identify with. If these new ideas or processes feel to foreign or phoney baloney like I'm faking it and being a wanabe of someone else's ideas of what art is or isn't then after trying it once on a piece if it looks stupid, forced, and incensiere then I stop right there and stop being a poser. I do take suggestions and try new concepts and ideas but in reality nobody takes my ideas that I gave them so why should I listen to everyone else telling me how think or sculpt in clay like I'm a thoughtless unoriginal string puppet? This week I tried a few new things and ideas others told me to do, but some of them the results were looking really stupid like someones else's art ideas and artistic vision had sculpted it, not my own.
When I make art to please other people by sculpting or texturing or thinking like them, then I stop feeling like a unique artist or individual with my own personal voice and I feel like I am illustrating what art is already, and making a mock version of a worn out idea of what modern art is supposed to be or look like. I want people to tell me that they can tell a Brent Goodman drawing or sculpture from someones else's drawings or sculptures. It's not the castles, skulls, monsters, bullies, and aliens that I want people to see as just the subject matter but see the creators hands in the work and myself and my personality and soul in my art. I'm still in school, I'm still open to growing and trying new things and techniques, but my art has to be my own and no one else's and not look like someone else's art or art techniques or how they would express themselves. I despise the idea of being a sellout soulless poser wannabe making art they way that they would make it themselves, but not the way I feel comfortable, normal, or safe, and confident making my stuff. Art is as much a therapy for me as it is a natural talent I can pull out of my ass without incredible effort involved! It's an easy challenge for me because I love making drawings and ceramic statues and that love for these mediums makes it easy for me to sculpt what would be an overwhelming challenge to someone else making the same statue of the castle or the aliens.
I create because I care to and because I love sculpting ceramics. As long as it gets a happy home after it's all finished the way I wanted it, then fame or a cash profit is not the reason I make my art. Fame would be nice to buy a good home, impress all the vast amounts of the pretty girls who find money sexier than a mans good looks or his wisdom or personality. Chicks are as shallow as they come especially when they are attractive, finding the quality with the quantity(ie hot body) is a rarity in women.
I could afford good: health care, designer pets, gas, food, vet care, and other bills if I was collected and sought after. But like I mentioned earlier that won't probably happen in my life time till after I am dead and gone and a new generation discovers that my stuff was unique and cool after all. It is what it is, why should I fight it? Is getting rejected by abrasive art gallery people my goal in life? No! Do I still sometimes try to get my work shown? Yes, but nobody has taken me under their wing so to speak, So I still feel like a misfit, outsider and weird eccentric freak because no matter what I do or do not attempt to do I never seem to fit in, or get respected and acknowledged by others easily in life. Tormented artist 101 since kindergarden!