I abandoned this website pretty much as my past self of who or where I was from early 2011 to 2014. I'm not the same person anymore, many of my ideals or hopes or dreams or beliefs have been left behind as things from the past. So consider this my growing pains or happier self of my early to mid 30's era.
BRENT GOODMAN Blogs personal journal diary essay reflections, thoughts, big fantasy dreams, goals, ambitions, fears, and regrets from 2011 to 2014
PLEASE ALSO VISIT MY OTHER 1ST ARTIST WEBSITE ' www.artistangst.com '
I now have a comedy website now with videos of my stand up comedy sets I have taped live in front of an audience!
That website is ' www.iloveminiaturehorses.com
This website has not had much added to it lately in the last two years as it had once before...Now that I am not under the scrutiny anymore of being seen as rather bland and boring as an art teacher I can go back to revealing that I have an actual personality here online. I'm sure hot chicks that I met and flirted with before might visit this website and might think he was kind of cute as a nice guy who liked me when I met him, where did all this tormented artist stuff even come from?...maybe I should not contact him! Honestly I am the nice charming guy you met who was flirting with you and I am also the sensative, emotional, and sometimes intense artist eccentric creative type guy. I am not any one thing, I am a complex combination of things that make up who I am as a whole. I am extremely consistent and very up front though on liking beautiful women, animals and art history, hip hop dancing classes and events and collecting art non fiction books and comic books. Believe what you want to think about me or see me as, I change things about me and my life or goals every year, but who I am still stays the same: I want to be liked and admired and please and entertain and amuse others. ACCEPTANCE: Being seen as cool, smart, intelligent, appreciated, well liked, and needed/wanted is an important thing or theme for me my whole life. Shallow pursuits without that draw or engaging positive encounter personal connection with the other person or some excitement is not in my bag of tricks. If the person meaning hot babe does not move me in some way that just phases into me deeply and really confuses me and captured my attention or interest thinking about her as an object of desire then I do not see them or pursue after them in that way. People laugh at this but a sexy girl does not have to be really all that smart for me to like her. I can have a deep intellectual conversation from the smart well read kind sharp older lady at the friends of the library used book store and connect to a consistent reliable person on a cerebral intellectual level that way easily... many smart wise older women who love books volunteer as the main pricing inventory lead volunteer at the various library patrons donation inventory used book stores. I like girls who are playful, amusing, fun, enjoyable, and make me feel safe or pleased around her company. Extreme intelligence that puts people in their place below her and a humorless, cold, cut off, authoritative type of mindset attitude or judgemental of others slightly different than you as a less than worthy style sense of maturity need not apply. Meaning if you act like a real bitch, you better be dumber than me and an air head flake for you to be deemed and seen harmless to me. I can't be in the same room as a snobby woman, I hate rude mean spirited stuck up people who are bullies. I prefer the healthier friendships, they work out better for me when two people have respect for one another. The chicks who lead me on and push me away then pull me back in, it's a lot of work and leads to nothing, nothing that works out in my favor, no results, no self esteem/pride in me afterwards, and the only thing I get out of it was a new supermodel looking fan/follower of me online. It's consistent and happens more often than you think, but it's pathetic and not an actual relationship of any substance or meaning or even an acquiantce person to encounter in my life...It is the fantasy of the dream ideal it girl that is dysfunctional and a hardship so it has lost it's escapism appeal and become a thing to endure or fight not being a part of or conflict of wanting to be around the girl and this negative losing streak set up situation and game. So it does not count as much beyond many loyal online fans of me who rejected me earlier as the guy who liked her... Sounds confusing or rather strange and weird to you? How do you think I feel about it? I behave myself and the bullshit teases with the mind games and power struggle challenges to me, still keep finding me and come out of the wood work with me on the receiving end as the loser in the match up. If you want to be ignored or left alone, leave guys like me alone and don't keep declining your own offers you yourself have tried to present to me to go for and pursue with you to notice you more often. It's a power trip. If you don't want my attention please do not seek me out or engage me in that way. Don't offer me dates with you and then shame and humiliate me publicly the next time I see you as you had just asked me to go seek you out to go out on the date you mentioned to me. This seems to be a trap or pattern I have gotten mixed up in more than a few times already. chicks who promise to go out and date me publicly shaming me the next time they see me at the scheduled agreed time and place they told me to go show up at to then meet them again...It's dysfunctional. I hope I grow out of it. Or at least stay as far away from this in the future next time a new girl pulls this crap.
I am hoping to line a few female comedians whom I admire as talented and very funny ladies on one of my next booked shows....but for all the bellyaching and whining and complaining female comedians make about not getting booked on shows or seen as real comedians respected next to the men, they all seem to think they are to amazing to want to perform on one of my next shows. I am not going to ever say that all females aren't funny like some famous male comedians said outright, because many of them are damn funny people and excel at comedy. I am going to say that they are full of it about crying tears of not getting work or opportunities even though so many shows are offered to them that they just turn down and brush off as below them when being to picky. Just like how girls hold out for a handsome rich famous dream guy and reject and avoid all the average guys to above average guys out there as not good enough for them, they do the same things with comedy shows when they are offered a spot on a show...they turn them all down and hope for the equivalent of a handsome prince charming type guy but now as the big amazing comedy show venue with a sold out world famous comedy club to offer them the main room and top billing and a huge audience and press and the publicity, glamour, fame, stardom...and I am not even talking about the famous comedians we know well and all enjoy from movies and the comedy TV taped stand up specials. I am taking about regular funny women who are not world famous but very good at comedy. They all seem to complain they are not taking seriously in comedy as women and not given as many opportunities as the men...well after hosting and booking my own shows for over 13 months now I know why, they act like snobs and think they are to good for any show that is not huge and sold out at a major comedy club venue and keep holding out for the shows meant for famous or seasoned experienced comics that you have to fight for to get a spot on this type of show. The: You want it but you can't have it as a closed off distant tease might work for you with that idiot hitting on you while fairly drunk and sloppy tipsy at the bar nightclub on a thursday night at 10:45pm, but with a guy working really hard running his own stand up comedy shows and events who books other comics for the shows it does not help you out much at all. I'd totally understand the girl comedians not doing smaller shows or shows on stage for free if they are world famous and other promoters and venues will pay them to be up on stage because the audience came to see them, duh, then that would be me overshooting my aim of booking for talent beyond my means and not within the same league as me. But most often it just big egos given a sweet opportunity with nothing they are required to do for me or the venue but to just only show up and get the stage time they pass up and ignore, not so much because I am a nerd or socially awkward: what comedian up on stage is not just another socially fearless socially awkward nerd spoofing himself, others, or life? (almost next to none) thats why the class clown is allowed to have more of a personality and more wiggle room to be the courtside jester than the king ruler or the cool guy everyone likes or admires in class or in the group who has an image and mythological like legacy to maintain and keep the image going for the public observing him, the cool guy is cool or sexy, men want to be him and women want to be with him, while .... the clown is funny or amusing, and is a form of quick escapism fantasy from stress or boredom, a release to unwind as the guy is acting foolish or funny so you will laugh at what he says or does on stage. Most clowns do not look like leading men from hollywood movies most of the time, but their always are exceptions, and thank you for the compliment about that I do appreciate it, honestly you are not a bad looking person yourself, so don't feel like I am looking down at you because of how I look and the jeans I was born with. I'm sure you also have some very good stylish jeans yourself.
The problem for me is I have no budget and do not get paid myself for my show now and the semi famous cult pop culture hero status comedians comedian get paid for all their professional work, where as I may be a kind and gracious guy, I do not have the budget available to throw my weight around with having them agree to do one of my future shows. It is a business, but I am trying through networking to put together comedians on the shows that I am fans of myself and the show I want to see and watch myself as the promoter that I know audiences will also enjoy seeing perform! So we will see if I can keep getting the more high end comedians I am a big fan of myself on my future shows?!
THIS IS A SPIN OFF WEBSITE WITH BLOG JOURNAL WRITING ONLY OF MY 1ST WEBSITE 'artistangst.com' THAT ALREADY HAS TO MUCH GOING ON AND IS MY ARTWORK WEBSITE.
THIS SITE WILL BE MOSTLY NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY HOBBIES IN A BLOG FORMAT.
I HAVE MANY MORE PICTURES OF MY ARTWORK, PHOTOGRAPHS AND THINGS YOU WON'T FIND HERE ON THIS SITE AT THE www.artistangst.com personal art website
FEEL FREE TO POKE AROUND AND TAKE A PEEK INTO MY BRAIN AND TOUR MY HOBBIES AND INTERESTS
I now have a comedy website now with videos of my stand up comedy sets I have taped live in front of an audience!
That website is ' www.iloveminiaturehorses.com
This website has not had much added to it lately in the last two years as it had once before...Now that I am not under the scrutiny anymore of being seen as rather bland and boring as an art teacher I can go back to revealing that I have an actual personality here online. I'm sure hot chicks that I met and flirted with before might visit this website and might think he was kind of cute as a nice guy who liked me when I met him, where did all this tormented artist stuff even come from?...maybe I should not contact him! Honestly I am the nice charming guy you met who was flirting with you and I am also the sensative, emotional, and sometimes intense artist eccentric creative type guy. I am not any one thing, I am a complex combination of things that make up who I am as a whole. I am extremely consistent and very up front though on liking beautiful women, animals and art history, hip hop dancing classes and events and collecting art non fiction books and comic books. Believe what you want to think about me or see me as, I change things about me and my life or goals every year, but who I am still stays the same: I want to be liked and admired and please and entertain and amuse others. ACCEPTANCE: Being seen as cool, smart, intelligent, appreciated, well liked, and needed/wanted is an important thing or theme for me my whole life. Shallow pursuits without that draw or engaging positive encounter personal connection with the other person or some excitement is not in my bag of tricks. If the person meaning hot babe does not move me in some way that just phases into me deeply and really confuses me and captured my attention or interest thinking about her as an object of desire then I do not see them or pursue after them in that way. People laugh at this but a sexy girl does not have to be really all that smart for me to like her. I can have a deep intellectual conversation from the smart well read kind sharp older lady at the friends of the library used book store and connect to a consistent reliable person on a cerebral intellectual level that way easily... many smart wise older women who love books volunteer as the main pricing inventory lead volunteer at the various library patrons donation inventory used book stores. I like girls who are playful, amusing, fun, enjoyable, and make me feel safe or pleased around her company. Extreme intelligence that puts people in their place below her and a humorless, cold, cut off, authoritative type of mindset attitude or judgemental of others slightly different than you as a less than worthy style sense of maturity need not apply. Meaning if you act like a real bitch, you better be dumber than me and an air head flake for you to be deemed and seen harmless to me. I can't be in the same room as a snobby woman, I hate rude mean spirited stuck up people who are bullies. I prefer the healthier friendships, they work out better for me when two people have respect for one another. The chicks who lead me on and push me away then pull me back in, it's a lot of work and leads to nothing, nothing that works out in my favor, no results, no self esteem/pride in me afterwards, and the only thing I get out of it was a new supermodel looking fan/follower of me online. It's consistent and happens more often than you think, but it's pathetic and not an actual relationship of any substance or meaning or even an acquiantce person to encounter in my life...It is the fantasy of the dream ideal it girl that is dysfunctional and a hardship so it has lost it's escapism appeal and become a thing to endure or fight not being a part of or conflict of wanting to be around the girl and this negative losing streak set up situation and game. So it does not count as much beyond many loyal online fans of me who rejected me earlier as the guy who liked her... Sounds confusing or rather strange and weird to you? How do you think I feel about it? I behave myself and the bullshit teases with the mind games and power struggle challenges to me, still keep finding me and come out of the wood work with me on the receiving end as the loser in the match up. If you want to be ignored or left alone, leave guys like me alone and don't keep declining your own offers you yourself have tried to present to me to go for and pursue with you to notice you more often. It's a power trip. If you don't want my attention please do not seek me out or engage me in that way. Don't offer me dates with you and then shame and humiliate me publicly the next time I see you as you had just asked me to go seek you out to go out on the date you mentioned to me. This seems to be a trap or pattern I have gotten mixed up in more than a few times already. chicks who promise to go out and date me publicly shaming me the next time they see me at the scheduled agreed time and place they told me to go show up at to then meet them again...It's dysfunctional. I hope I grow out of it. Or at least stay as far away from this in the future next time a new girl pulls this crap.
I am hoping to line a few female comedians whom I admire as talented and very funny ladies on one of my next booked shows....but for all the bellyaching and whining and complaining female comedians make about not getting booked on shows or seen as real comedians respected next to the men, they all seem to think they are to amazing to want to perform on one of my next shows. I am not going to ever say that all females aren't funny like some famous male comedians said outright, because many of them are damn funny people and excel at comedy. I am going to say that they are full of it about crying tears of not getting work or opportunities even though so many shows are offered to them that they just turn down and brush off as below them when being to picky. Just like how girls hold out for a handsome rich famous dream guy and reject and avoid all the average guys to above average guys out there as not good enough for them, they do the same things with comedy shows when they are offered a spot on a show...they turn them all down and hope for the equivalent of a handsome prince charming type guy but now as the big amazing comedy show venue with a sold out world famous comedy club to offer them the main room and top billing and a huge audience and press and the publicity, glamour, fame, stardom...and I am not even talking about the famous comedians we know well and all enjoy from movies and the comedy TV taped stand up specials. I am taking about regular funny women who are not world famous but very good at comedy. They all seem to complain they are not taking seriously in comedy as women and not given as many opportunities as the men...well after hosting and booking my own shows for over 13 months now I know why, they act like snobs and think they are to good for any show that is not huge and sold out at a major comedy club venue and keep holding out for the shows meant for famous or seasoned experienced comics that you have to fight for to get a spot on this type of show. The: You want it but you can't have it as a closed off distant tease might work for you with that idiot hitting on you while fairly drunk and sloppy tipsy at the bar nightclub on a thursday night at 10:45pm, but with a guy working really hard running his own stand up comedy shows and events who books other comics for the shows it does not help you out much at all. I'd totally understand the girl comedians not doing smaller shows or shows on stage for free if they are world famous and other promoters and venues will pay them to be up on stage because the audience came to see them, duh, then that would be me overshooting my aim of booking for talent beyond my means and not within the same league as me. But most often it just big egos given a sweet opportunity with nothing they are required to do for me or the venue but to just only show up and get the stage time they pass up and ignore, not so much because I am a nerd or socially awkward: what comedian up on stage is not just another socially fearless socially awkward nerd spoofing himself, others, or life? (almost next to none) thats why the class clown is allowed to have more of a personality and more wiggle room to be the courtside jester than the king ruler or the cool guy everyone likes or admires in class or in the group who has an image and mythological like legacy to maintain and keep the image going for the public observing him, the cool guy is cool or sexy, men want to be him and women want to be with him, while .... the clown is funny or amusing, and is a form of quick escapism fantasy from stress or boredom, a release to unwind as the guy is acting foolish or funny so you will laugh at what he says or does on stage. Most clowns do not look like leading men from hollywood movies most of the time, but their always are exceptions, and thank you for the compliment about that I do appreciate it, honestly you are not a bad looking person yourself, so don't feel like I am looking down at you because of how I look and the jeans I was born with. I'm sure you also have some very good stylish jeans yourself.
The problem for me is I have no budget and do not get paid myself for my show now and the semi famous cult pop culture hero status comedians comedian get paid for all their professional work, where as I may be a kind and gracious guy, I do not have the budget available to throw my weight around with having them agree to do one of my future shows. It is a business, but I am trying through networking to put together comedians on the shows that I am fans of myself and the show I want to see and watch myself as the promoter that I know audiences will also enjoy seeing perform! So we will see if I can keep getting the more high end comedians I am a big fan of myself on my future shows?!
THIS IS A SPIN OFF WEBSITE WITH BLOG JOURNAL WRITING ONLY OF MY 1ST WEBSITE 'artistangst.com' THAT ALREADY HAS TO MUCH GOING ON AND IS MY ARTWORK WEBSITE.
THIS SITE WILL BE MOSTLY NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY HOBBIES IN A BLOG FORMAT.
I HAVE MANY MORE PICTURES OF MY ARTWORK, PHOTOGRAPHS AND THINGS YOU WON'T FIND HERE ON THIS SITE AT THE www.artistangst.com personal art website
FEEL FREE TO POKE AROUND AND TAKE A PEEK INTO MY BRAIN AND TOUR MY HOBBIES AND INTERESTS